I don't like Spam!

I know, stop the fucking presses. But really, my spam intake used to be manageable (probably 20 to 30 items a day per inbox--I use two accounts on this server), and as of this week, it's gotten to the point that I can't deal with it anymore. So I go ahead and have my trusty geek boyfriend check it out (he's so cute!), and he composes a nice email to my hosting company's support team regarding how he might get spam assassin activated or what some other solution to my woes might be.

The support folks are all, yeah, we don't...do server side filtering. Mucks up the system, and the like. How's about you go ahead and use some other mail client that will do nice filtering jibjab for ya, like ehhh... Thunderbird. That's what we recommend. This server side crap is unreliable!

Obviously I'm not directly quoting their email, just mocking it like the petulant snot I am.

So here's the thing, guys. I am annoyed that you don't support any server side filtering whatsoever, and let me tell you why. Part of the reason I chose your damn hosting in the first place, oh so many years ago, was the multiple email access methods, including my bizarrely beloved pine. I use the webmail at work and while traveling, and I use pine on my home machine, and I really, deeply appreciate the ability to have them both at the ready. For example, if I'm back in the PacNW, using my mom's laptop, I don't want to have to use the goddamn touchpad to mark 75 messages for deletion before I can read the messages from my friends regarding the logistics of our meeting up. I know, really, suck it up, but fuck. I shouldn't have to be dealing with a barrage of spam, and neither should anyone else, and why the fuck can't they do ANY, even unrecommended, server side filtering?

Anyone have actually useful suggestions for me? These can include changing hosting companies, by the way. If they won't work with me on this, I might not be able to work with them, but it's only the first volley so far. My turn to hit it back.