Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

I covet. Ever since I made myself unemployed, my yearning for new wearables has grown well beyond my means, which are, naturally, shrinking. I was finally getting used to the ability to buy things just because I wanted them and being able to afford it. I was never a big shopper, but I have to admit I enjoy it. It's a sickness.

I did slip a few weeks ago after seeing one too many episodes of What Not To Wear touting the virtues of the wide-leg trouser and the fitted jacket. I love a jacket and can never get enough, but for job interviews, of course I need more than my existing assortment of crappy black slacks and jeans. So after a lot of Internet window-shopping and receipt of my stimulus check, I went to Kohl's because it's nearby, it seemed to have the type of thing I was looking for, and it was having a massive sale. And I had good luck! I found a few tops that I liked on me, and one pair of pale gray trousers. But my shopping bug was insatiable, so I went to crappy Westgate Mall, home of Target, Old Navy, Nordstrom Rack, and the shittiest Ross you ever did see. I saw nothing worthy at Ross or Old Navy. I didn't have the energy to tackle the piles at Nordstrom Rack and there weren't any cool shoes out. In Target, I found a lightweight cotton jacket in mocha and trousers in a dark chocolate that worked.

Of course, my transgressions were punished almost immediately. As I was making my getaway through the maternity section (FEAR!), I tripped and twisted my goddamn ankle.

And the other thing, my god, one simply cannot wear black oiled clogs to interviews and look polished. I have one pair of pointy-toed black kitten heels that are sufficiently professional, but I need options. I covet shoes. I covet shoes in pretty colors. My feet need more red in their life, and not just on those black-lace-with-red-patent-buckle casual flats I have. And I need to be able to walk in them without looking like a drunk, so no 3-inch slingbacks for me. I bought two pairs online, one of which is about to get sent back because as cute as they are, they run about a half size too small for my giant feet. The other is pointy, red, and basically flat. Fantastic, and cheap!

BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH. I NEED HELP.

Preferably a job. Or free money.