I can't take it anymore. I have reached my quota of engaged/married friends. I am crying uncle. Just hold off a few years. You can wait. Really!
Stop being so goddamn happy with each other and doing all those things people do. Stop wanting to spend your lives together. I mean, it's sweet and all, really, but there is just too much of it.
Just stop with the happy-making, people. Please.
Love, your freaked-out friend,