Whew.

There's nothing like intense boredom to really make me panic.

For the second time in my college career, I have exercised my right to withdraw from a class mid-term. I haven't been excited by any of my classes this term, but one in particular was causing me distress. It didn't stretch my thinking so much as inundate me with miles and miles of text. Things I thought maybe I gave a shit about, but it turns out I don't. At all.

Research in motivational science within the realm of social psychology may not be large in number, but it's large enough. Discussion on the subject was lively, at least among my classmates and professor, but I was withdrawn. It took a lot of effort to pay attention to the articles. It took a lot of effort to think of things to say in discussion. I think I'd actually said something twice. Last week, one class was cancelled and I feigned illness and took an unofficial sick day for the other one. It felt amazing.

I'm not sure if this makes me lazy, or if it just means the subject wasn't for me. To avoid the fundamental attribution error, I'm siding with "wasn't for me."

I sent my mom an email I'm sure she'll find distressing. It sounded...stressed. My friends on irc encouraged me to drop. So I dropped. There was no real reason for me to choke my sanity for the sake of this class, for the sake of finishing psych requirements when I have another two or three terms to finish journalism.

So, my plan for the rest of school is newslab this summer, a 400-level psych class (perhaps child and adolescent behavior disorders, woo-hoo!) and journalism ethics with the non-shitty prof in the fall, and keeping my fingers crossed for cool winter quarter electives or holding on 'til spring. Rah. I won't be done as soon as I'd hoped, but in this economy, this may be for the best.

And, of course, I emailed my prof to tell him I was dropping and briefly explain why. He just emailed me back to tell me he'd just graded my first paper and given me a perfect score, hoping this would persuade me to reconsider. It wasn't about the grade, though; the work was just stressful and not worth it to me. I still think my discussion grade would suck, too.