Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Feel Like Beating Something Up?

Cos I sure do. I'm not especially angry at one thing--I'm just mildly angry at everything, which makes me want to, I don't know, throw plates.

I am doing nothing these days. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. And it is really B-O-R-I-N-G, if you catch my drift. I mean, for Christ's sake. I'm watching fucking Oprah right now. Oprah! And it's not even interesting! It's just better than Ryan Seacrest or whatever!

I have a bunch of almost-somethings-to-do that don't actually happen for whatever reason. I had a job interview last week for an internship that, evidently, I didn't get, since it would've started that week and Wednesday has almost passed without a word. It's late enough in my two months of no plans that I might as well wait until spring break or the quarter to begin and return to my old job, at least for a few months before I graduate and have to find a real-real job. Not really a happy prospect in any sense. I feel very unproductive. Because I'm not doing anything and there isn't anything I can do.

At least that doesn't involve money, which I am trying to avoid spending. Since I don't have a job, spending money isn't exactly in abundance. I just need to eat and occasionally do something to save my sanity, like rent a video. Buy gas. Send a letter. Something.

Today, actually, I found out about a screening of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, a movie written by Charlie Kaufman and starring Jim Carrey. There were free passes on campus (available to people with current student IDs, anyway) and the kicker? Kaufman and director Michel Gondry were doing a Q&A post-screening. I found out about this, told Chris, who was equally excited (Charlie Kaufman, if you didn't know, wrote some of the more interesting films of the past few years, including Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind), and immediately asked Lauren to be his date. Steph was going to get a pass for me, so all should've been well.

But, of course, the passes ran out before Steph got there, so I'm not going. And that fucking sucks. But I can't do anything about it besides sit here and stew.

So my alternative was to go to Olympia and hang out and help my mom, but my car? Is in Ballard. Because I passed out last night long before Kevin finished playing fucking Vice City at 4 a.m. and he had to drive himself home somehow.

On the plus side of life, Portland's marrying gays. Hooray for my hometown.

On the news, I'm seeing some guy with a sign that says "God hates shrimp [something illegible]." Shrimp? Is that some homophobic epithet I've not heard?

If you couldn't figure it out? I am all for gay marriage. I yell at the TV when they let church leaders babble about how it's "wrong" according to the Bible, WHICH IS NOT THE SAME AS THE EYES OF THE LAW. Thank you, fuck you very much.

Wow, even the happy things make me angry. It's PMS, in part, but also disappointment in everything including myself. Blah.

Does anyone else feel like this Atkins thing is a huge cult? It is really creeping me out.

Life may mostly suck, but at least I'm getting laid.

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