Something I want to have is answers.

I don't like this, indecision. I like to have an answer and I like things to work out. I don't like things up in the air.

It doesn't sound like possibility to me. It sounds like stress.

So I'm trying to find answers. When life poses a question, I'd rather not contemplate the existential meaning. I to decide.

It's hard to commit, true. But once I do I tend to feel much better. Cognitive dissonance worked for me!

So we're in the middle of things, in between decisions. I hate it. It's making me crazy and it runs my life. I know I shouldn't let it, but I do. I'll drop anything to get this decision made. I keep dropping things but the decision doesn't happen.

Here's where things stand, or don't:

--Chris and I faxed an application for a "funky" old house in the U-District. It's five bedrooms--only two of which aren't in the basement--and $1300. We are afraid it's going to be snatched up before they even look at our application, or something. It leaves us with many options.

--Graylan has one foot out the door. He said he'd email us tomorrow about whether he's in our out. I think he's out.

--We have offered Kevin the position as Third. He would take at least some of the basement, but he must see the rooms first to see if one would be acceptable for all his music equipment. The rent would be cheap for him and he'd be a better roommate than our other possibilities, but there are obviously some possible problems on all fronts. But then, when *aren't* there problems where roommates are concerned?

--If all else fails, I hope and pray we still have Jen for summer. If she wants to live alone in the basement. Or something. I am waiting for something to settle before I confront her with the issues.

--Some other people expressed limited interest, but they are people I'm not absolutely certain I'd want to live with.

On other fronts, Jenny, my current roommate, is flipping channels between 48 Hours Investigates a 15-year-old male babysitter accused of sexually assaulting and killing a baby girl and Extreme Makeover's coverage of people getting various types of cosmetic surgery, which is revolting. The newsmagazine show is pretty gross, too, since it completely bastardizes the process of law and justice and everything. It dramatizes everything and just gives these sad people a place on national television to say terrible things.

Oh, and I have a media law midterm tomorrow. I should have been studying today, but I have been busy overthinking about house stuff. Fucking house stuff. I want it all to be over.